Welcome to the Tribe

The whole of human race belongs to the homo sapiens “tribe”. Within this broad classification, we divide ourselves into various nationalities, religions, languages, regions, caste and creed. These are the typical “tribes” based on history and geography. The human quest for novelty keeps evolving, and we now have tribes based on social engagements and mutual interests. There is a fitness tribe, the travel tribe, the hiker’s tribe, the bikers, the runners, the car lover’s, the pet lover’s tribe, you get the point. There is a nice proverb “Birds of the same feather flock together“, but it’s not just birds. We humans love to spend time with others who share a common sense of beliefs, interests and background. There is a sense of “belonging”, and this urge to keep belonging to a common purpose has what’s made humanity to thrive. The association that we make to be a part of a group, something larger than ourselves as individuals, is surely the most important differentiator between the Home sapiens and other living beings. As Taleb points out in his book “Antifragile” – Individually we are fragile, but collectively as Homo Sapiens we are antifragile. Yuval Harari mentions in his book “Sapiens”, “The crucial factor in our conquest of the world was our ability to connect many humans to one another”. We love to connect and belong to a tribe. The blog I wrote around 4 years back – https://achuthkamath.com/2021/08/25/the-four-types-of-colleagues/ still makes sense!

What is a tribe? From the Merriam-webster dictionary, there are two important definitions:

• A social group composed chiefly of numerous families, clans, or generations having a shared ancestry and language.
• A group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest.

The first definition is rather a textbook definition of a tribe. When we talk about tribes, we typically think about a group of indigenous people living somewhere in the remote forests or inhospitable lands. They are a localized lot, still continuing their age-old customs, food habits and culture. But the world is getting more and more globalized, with lots of mingling between various nationalities, religions and languages, that this generic definition of tribe becomes a bit blurry. Marriages between different religions, nationalities, castes and cultures are truly a welcome sign. Folks like us living in the cities and big towns, our ancestors were once part of some ancient tribe, from some particular region on the globe (its actually interesting to do some background study of our ancestry), and then due to climatic or political reasons kept moving. Now, we are all one big happy city tribe!

Language is a true uniting force for people. People really enjoy talking in their native language – local regional language or mother tongue – wherever they go. When we are outside the geographical boundaries of any language, our ears are yearning for that melodious tune of our local language. It’s a little wonder then, that people become best of buddies in home away from home environment thanks to common language. When we lived in Shanghai, China, we were part “Shanghai Kannadigaru” – a group for people speaking Kannada. We celebrated the traditional Kannadiga festivals and traditions with great pomp and enthusiasm. In India and elsewhere, religion can be a major dividing factor. But then, I see all religions united very well when the language has been a uniting factor (like in certain states like Tamil Nadu and Kerala). Whichever religion you personally believe in, as long as you speak the same language as everyone else, you are part of this glorious tribe! With language, its more than just what’s spoken – there is a rich history, collective stories, upbringing, and of course the culture has been intertwined gracefully. There are so many proverbs, anecdotes and stories that simply cannot be translated, or at least not as funny or amusing even if translated. It probably doesn’t even make any sense to people outside. These days, at least in communities in Bangalore, we see parents conversing with their young ones in English. I have a worry that English will soon take place of all other beautiful languages in India, and with that all the rich culture. I attended one event at my daughter’s school, and Padmavati Rao, guest speaker at the event, a prominent actress and theatre personality advised all parents to ensure that we pass on gift of mother tongues to our kids – this is the least we can do. It was the first time I heard anything like this, and she rightfully told that we need to ensure our traditions and culture, most of which are part of our mother tongues, continues to prosper well into next generation and more. Let your language tribe grow!

We are all super proud of the geography where we originate from. When we are within country, we bring our regional beliefs and culture to the mix. When we are living outside our country, we carry the national pride along. Humans from the same region or nationality typically flock together. When living in a city outside our native region, we tend to mix up with people of our native regions (state/province or specific town). And when we live outside our country, we manage to expand our “tribe” horizon to include everyone from our country. There are common festivals, history, and those evergreen stories. However, what’s also happening is that the next generation of humans, thanks to their parents, have become a confused lot. They are brought up in different culture, language and geography than their parents. The parents try to pass on their native culture, but then we all forget the golden rule – It takes a village to raise a child! Parents get annoyed when the kids don’t value their native traditions and culture, but it’s definitely not the kids’ fault. Change the location and social environment, the tribe and its affiliation changes. This is what a lot of parents realize, and some have managed to return back to their homeland, in pursuit of saving their tribe – to get their wards inculcated with their native “tribal” culture and roots.

All said and done, a very special bond can be forged between people, who share the second definition of a “tribe” – united via common character, occupation or interest. Without a past historical and geographical baggage, so to speak, with just common interests laid out, such connections tend to be even stronger, in my opinion. As one of my senior colleagues once said, we cannot change where we were born and brought up, and the traditions we got immersed in our childhood and growing years. We cannot break family relationships so easily. Even if we enjoy being part of it or not, family is still family. But we could always change companies, friends or residences. What holds us back, what makes us “belong” to particular friend circle, certain bunch of colleagues, a corporate, or a geographical location, or a residential community is what makes the bond so special. There is no commitment whatsoever (ok, maybe there are some financial aspects to consider!) – but yet we continue to be part of a group or live at a particular community or continue working at a company. We enjoy living and working alongside like-minded individuals, folks trading respect to others, humility, positive attitude, zest for life and driven by similar life values. Whenever any of this gets compromised, it’s a red flag, we get the feeling of not belonging there anymore, and rightfully we look out for other options available to us.

Most of my connections that still continue to be my connections is this sense of belonging. The common interest and purpose, similar life values, humility and passion for life. With some of these basic checks, I include them into my tribe. During my engineering days, I met a friend of my distant friends, and just our love for football at the time bound us so well, that I am still in close touch with him, even though he lives far geographically. Another close relationship I forged was with a family friend in Shanghai, with whom I bound well thanks to our mutual interest on wealth and fitness. I am still in close touch with some of my colleagues from the earlier companies I worked with, even after 20+ years, mainly thanks to the common understanding and values. These non-geographical, non-ancestral, non-relationship bonds tend to be the best, because these are completely based on your best interests – with no strings attached!

Then there is also the other side of the spectrum, where the anti-social elements huddle around to form their unique tribe. The hooligans, the mafia, the local goons, terrorists, etc. For some reasons, maybe their upbringing, living conditions, financial situations, early influences and manipulations, probably even passion to do something criminal, they get signed up into this tribe. Although I personally haven’t been part of such tribe (just to be clear, lol), I would imagine this to be a rather close-knit tribe, with everyone having each other’s back, always scheming and bonding. Such kind of tribe though is a ‘Hotel California’ situation – You can check out any time you like, but you may never leave. Welcome to the tribe, but sorry not welcome to leave the tribe.

Volunteering is a noble thing to do. The motivation being to champion a particular cause without any financial benefit. People volunteer when they believe that the cause and the benefits to the society or community is larger than their personal time. Time is money as we all know, so spending personal time towards volunteering truly stands apart. I was lucky to be part of a session conducted by local lake environmentalist, the passion she had for the lake and its environment was very evident. She runs the non-profit organization made up entirely of volunteers and they have rejuvenated the lake wonderfully. What’s her purpose? To pass on the benefits of nature and ecological environment to society and most importantly to the next generation. I was lucky to volunteer for couple of causes myself. One was when we hosted Karnataka tourism from the Shanghai Kannadiga group and recently was when I was part of the volunteering team for a fitness run in our local community. I am passionate about the travel (especially when promoting my state of Karnataka), and fitness in general, so overall it turned out to be very fulfilling. There was a greater sense of purpose than my individuality, and this amazing sense of belonging to a tribe. As volunteers, we get incredible chance to work with like-minded, similar purpose-driven individuals, and we easily gel together to form the tribe. Keep rooting for the special cause you passionately endear, tag along with like-minded people around you (it turns out there are many out there, if you truly look!), form your tribe. And finally, may your tribe grow!